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The 20 Ticks

The only thing we can really change is ourselves. One simple way to change things quickly and effectively is to stop doing the things that prevent us from realising our own potential. 

Over the years, we have repeatedly observed which ticks destroy the most potential. What do you think the following ticks do in practice?

1 – Winning too much

The need to win at all costs and in all situations – when it matters, when it doesn’t and when it’s totally beside the point.

2 – Adding too much value

The overwhelming desire to add our two cents to every discussion.

3 – Passing judgement

The need to rate others and impose our standards on them.

4 – Making destructive comments

The needles sarcasms and cutting remarks that we think make us sound sharp and witty.

5 – Starting with “No”, “But” and “However”

The overuse of these negative qualifiers which secretly tell everyone: “I am right. You are wrong.”

6 – Telling the world how smart we are

The need to show people we’re smarter than they think we are.

7 – Speaking when angry

Using emotional volatility as a management tool.

8 – Negativity or “Let me explain why that won’t work”

The need to share our negative thoughts even when we’re not asked.

9 – Withholding information

The refusal to share information in order to maintain an advantage over others.

10 – Failing to give proper recognition

The inability to praise and reward.

11 – Claiming credit that we don’t deserve

The most annoying way to overestimate our contribution to any success.

12 – Making excuses

The need to reposition our annoying behavior as a permanent fixture to people excuse us for it.

13 – Clinging to the past

The need to deflect blame away from ourselves and onto events and people from our past; a subset of blaming anybody else.

14 – Playing favorites

Failing to see that we are treating someone unfairly.

15 – Refusing to express regret

The inability to take responsibility for our actions, admit we’re wrong, or recognize how our actions affect others.

16 – Not listening and interrupting

The most passive-aggressive form of disrespect for colleagues.

17 – Failing to express gratitude

The most basic form of bad manners.

18 – Punishing the messenger

The misguided need to attack the innocent who are usually only trying to help us.

19 – Passing the buck

The need to blame everyone but ourselves.

20 – An excessive need to be me

Exalting our faults as virtues simply because they’re who we are.

Implementation in practice

Choose the 2-3 ticks that bother you the most. Write one card for each tick and place them next to you at meetings so that you can see them. Whenever you realise that you are using a tick, draw a line on another piece of paper. The aim should be to stop drawing lines in meetings.

What could you do to stop using the tick? Just stop doing it! If you don’t succeed, you can try the following ideas:

• Think of a synonym for each tick, e.g. a “scale” for evaluating. Pick out a picture of a and place it on the table instead of the tick. Our brain often processes images more easily than words. This could make the tic disappear more easily. 
• Utilise the power of the team. Involve trusted people in your project. Let them observe you when you use the tic again and give you a sign so that you are aware of it. The feedforward method is also useful in this context.